Being overpowered or forced to do things beyond your control can contribute to obsessive patterns of exhaustion. “If I am in control then everything will be okay” seems to be a common thread, in men and women who have experienced abusive situations, intense grief, or been witness to traumatic injury of others. The paradox of exhaustion and compulsive busyness is rampant in our modern world. In the ancient modalities of healing, there are tried and true methods of interrupting this limiting and unsustainable pattern, while retaining the positive life-force it holds.
A woman, who came to see me, complained of deep exhaustion. She said she had always needed to be in charge, even when she was a small child. This was due to a strong fearful need to control her environment after abuse by a relative. She stepped in to order her world, and then extended it to the lives of those around her. Her intentions were good, and usually much appreciated, but this constant sense of needing to take care of any pressing need, drew many wounded people to her, and began to plague her with exhaustion and ill health. She had sought conventional psychiatric care and felt she had worked through so many early wounds, she could no longer talk about her past.
She had trouble trusting allies, and actually would trip up anyone offering help. It had taken years, decades really, to finally wear her resistance down, because she was so innately strong! Even when she herself asked for help in earnest, paradoxically it felt like a death sentence to give away ANY control. It confused those who loved her who often just left in frustration, or manifested problems to get her attention. She knew she was depleting herself, but this habitual need for control was so primal it trumped everything. What had triggered this intense response in her? Could it be eased for her benefit?
That conflicting soul story she was telling herself was: “I am unable to get relief.’ ‘You can’t help me because I am in charge.”
Finally, when she had come through yet another catastrophe that had demanded her full attention, energy, and ‘just about killed’ her, in her own words, we began working together to get her some relief.
A careful investigation revealed a huge ancestral ‘energy’ on both sides of her family, which demanded constant, obsessive, control of the environment. This affiliation had been passed down to her and was tied to her body through abuse and afflictions in her ancestors. When she finally could allow for a gentle investigation to occur, and began to understand the basic nature of what was driving her, the powerful compassionate spirit allies were able to sever ties with this obsessive aspect of her ancestral legacy and restore the beneficial life-force inherent in her line. Spirits also helped put in place channels for managing the considerable beneficial power of this intense life-force, so it would no longer overload her circuits!